


It Will Not Come to Pass

by nepieta (orphan_account)



Series: good-bye, john egbert [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: (You should just completely ignore this and move on with your life), Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 01:04:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nepieta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"come to pass, to occur; happen: Strange things came to pass."</p><p>You could be doing a lot of things with him right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Will Not Come to Pass

**Author's Note:**

> Oh golly, this is the first Johndave fanfiction I have ever written, so I apologize for any clear and obvious mistakes.  
> Now that I think about it, it's actually the first Homestuck one I have ever written. Oh boy.

You could be doing a lot of things with him right now.

You could be sitting on the living room floor, playing a video game. You clearly would have beat him on a normal day, but you let him win, just to see him smile and giggle with pride. He would have jumped up, still grinning, accidentally tilting his glasses and almost knocking them off his face. You would have laughed at him and stood up next to him, spilling out fake complaints about how you beat him, exaggerating just about every word. He would have rubbed it in, only joking, but you would have still loved to hear him burst with victory. You would have held onto his hand, probably causing him to blush, looking up at his glossy blue eyes before shaking your head and asking for a rematch, claiming that you'll beat him this time. He would have accepted the challenge, quickly bringing both of you down to the floor again for another game. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be leaning against his piano while he played a soft tune. You would have closed your eyes, mesmerized by the melody of the sweet music. You would have never heard it before, and you would never hear it again; the boy was always coming up with new songs. Every time he would make one, he would have played it for you. You would have loved the way he ran his fingers across the black and white keys of the piano. You would have loved the way the boy could go from a quiet beat to a more upbeat one in a matter of seconds. He would have anxiously looked up at you when he finished, asking what you thought of it, and every time you would have explained how wonderful you thought it was, well, as much as you could do while managing to keep your cool. He would have smiled, and you would hesitate before leaning down and placing a brief kiss on his lips. You would have felt the energy traversing through you the second your lips touched, and even though you would have realized how much it would have made you sound like you were in a romance novel, there wouldn't be any denying that you though it felt extraordinary. There wouldn't have been any denying that you would have looked forward to it happening again either. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be driving in your car with him to your favorite fast food restaurant as your first date. He would have wanted you to bring him to a slightly nicer place, but you insisted that this was a better choice. You would have ordered your usual meal and suggested something for him to eat. You would have waited not so patiently after ordering, but you were there with him, and that was all okay. You would have talked about anything and absolutely anything. You would have dreamt of the way he babbled and smiled and giggled when he talked. The way he used his hands to emphasis what he was trying to say. After what was really a few minutes, the food would have been brought to your table, and you would have made a big show of dipping your chicken nuggets into your milkshake, despite the noises of exaggerated disgust he was making. You would have offered him to try some and after a big fit of refusing, he would have agreed and said that it would be your fault if he ended up barfing. He would have ended up loving it, of course, and slowly asking for another one. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be knocking on his front door, finding it impossible to hide your happiness once he opens it, dressed in the turquoise suit that you would have been always quite fond of. He would smile, and you would have nodded approvingly at him, attempting to put on your poker face once more. He would reach over and wrap both his arms around you, pulling you in for a hug. He would be stronger than you expected, or maybe it would have just been him tightening his grip with every new hug. He would pause before moving his hand over to your shades, but you would have shooed his fingers away, repeating the same line about how sensitive your eyes are. He'd sigh with fake frustration and cross his arms. You'd smirk at him, but he would know that it was just your way of telling him how much you loved him. You would have walked hand in hand, due to his insisting on it, to the car, where you would go to the social gathering that would be held. You would have known that people would judge you, bringing a person of your gender as your date, but you wouldn't have given the slightest of a shit. You would have loved him to pieces no matter what any arrogant fucker had to say about it. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be watching a film in the theater with him. You would have insisted on sitting in the back rows due to the young talkative teenage girls that would be sitting in the first few ones. He would have accepted, making a joke about not pulling a move on him, but you would have the slightest feeling that he wouldn't mind it. You would have taken your seats, chatting and laughing before the lights suddenly would have suddenly faded off and the movie would begin playing on the screen. It would have clearly be a movie that he favored more than you, but in the end you agreed to watch it anyway. After a few minutes of the movie, he would turn to you, probably realizing that his taste in movies weren't so fine after all. He would have hesitantly reached for your shades. The light from the emergency exit sign dimly lit up the back row, so you could have clearly seen the nervous expression on his face. You would have stiffened up, not doing anything to stop him. You would have figured it was impossible to hide your eye color forever. He would have gasped quietly once he saw them; blue meeting up into red. He would have stared at you for a moment, most likely considering why he never took off your glasses fully before. He would have leaned up and pushed your lips against his; sometimes it would have just became so impossible for him to resist. You would have kissed in the back of the movie theater, thinking of how corny this was, and how much it felt like you two were in a movie yourself. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be dragging him up to your bedroom after what would feel like decades of waiting. He would have immediately push you down onto the bed and leave a trail of kisses down your neck. He would have slightly smelled of cheap alcohol and strawberries. You would have made a comment about how he was acting dominant, and he would have snorted and called you a name before continuing with his soft kisses. Sooner or later he would have been gripping a pillow, his knuckles white, while he moaned your name. You would have been positive that your Bro heard, and was currently laughing his ass off, but you wouldn't have cared. You would have been with him and there would have been nothing else to care about. But you know it will not come to pass.

You would have begun to visit him more often, going over for lunch, staying at his house until dinner, and sometimes staying for the night. Your brother would have made jokes about him and your sexuality all the time, but you would have just angrily replied, not exactly denying what he said though. Days after days would pass; 'I love you's' after 'I love you's' would pass. Eventually it would have come the time to tell your parents, and they would have both laughed. Your Bro would have mentioned something about you too being too loud, and how they already knew about your relationship. You would have been glad that they didn't take it awfully. He would have turned a light shade of red, and his dad would have told him that it's completely okay. You would have kept this relationship with this man running for months and years. But you know it will not come to pass.

You could be over at his house during one Christmas break. You would have sat around the table with him, his dad, and your brother, trying to avoid swearing for his dad's sake, after all, you were invited to his house and it was Christmas, but you occasionally end up slipping one, resulting in you getting a slightly disapproving, yet not completely serious, sigh from his dad. You would have eagerly ate your dinner, wanting to get onto your presents as fast as possible, but trying not to show it too much. Once you all would have finished dinner, all of you would have walked over to the Christmas tree, kneeling down beside it to take your respective presents. You would have exchanged a nervous glance with Bro and Dad (you would have still been getting used to calling him that) as he reached over and grabbed the red present you left for him under the tree. He would have grinned at you, holding the medium sized box, as you would have told him how happy you were to be loving him for so long and that he should really open his present. He would have rolled his eyes before slowly opening the box, surprised to find a slightly smaller one inside. You would have smirked as he slightly rose his eyebrows in confusion, opening the box again to find another until he reached the bottom, leaving a tiny navy jewelry container with the words 'TACORI' printed across it. (You would have remembered that it was the brand that his dad's wedding ring was bough from) He would have gasped, while you leaned on one knee and opened the box for him. You would have looked over at the two other's smiling faces before looking back down at him. You would have taken a deep breath before, as confidently as you can, mumbling out the proposal that would have been hanging around in your head for weeks. He would have looked genuinely shocked, slipping the ring onto his finger and instantly toppling you over, whispering an abundance of yes's as he placed a plentiful amount of kisses to your lips. But you know it will not come to pass.

Oh my god, it's never going to come. Your name is Dave Strider, and John Egbert has been dead for four years. You should be over him by now, but he keeps on managing to claw his way into your mind every now and then. The smartass driver in the car should have been watching the road, but of fucking course, he wasn't. You should have been there for him. No matter how many times you repeat yourself, no matter how many times you use the same idiom, he's never going to come back. He's gone. He's dead. It's all over. There's no fucking going back. Before you could show the slightest bit of flushed feelings for him. Before you could show him the true color of your eyes. Before you could taste the sweetness of those delicate-looking lips. You never got to hold his hand. You never got to ask him to marry you. You would have fucking held his hand and kissed him and married him and loved him forever. It's not fair. It was never fucking fair. You know you should just move on, (yet here you go again, with that fucking idiom again) but you know it will not come to pass.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if you caught it or not, but in a few parts Dave writes what he would want to happen, not what John might have actually done at the moment. After all, this whole thing is mainly Dave's imagination. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it though (as much as you can enjoy something sad), and comments are always extremely helpful!


End file.
